we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
