Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
