I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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