is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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