I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
