You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
His nipple licking is glorious
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