Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
