white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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