We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
