Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
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