You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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