is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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