Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
