Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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