he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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