I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
