Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
