piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
His hands were made for my vagina.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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