So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
