So drunk, too bad you don't want this
worst night to have a conscience
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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