dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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