Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
