Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
