soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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