You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
