He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
