TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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