my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
