this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
