Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Randomize
