i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
