Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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