His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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