I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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