I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
