I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
