Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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