Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
