It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We have so much sex to catch up on
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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