So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Princesses don't give blow jobs
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
