Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize
