dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
