Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
