but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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