Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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