Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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