he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
