Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
