Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
