hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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