WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize